Everyone has had a heated argument with a friend, sibling, or spouse. Sometimes, when forgiveness eludes us, the hurt feelings fester and harden into a cold, rigid resentment that goes on for years. This bitterness is incredibly detrimental to one's health, both physically and emotionally, because it allows the stress hormones in our body to take over. Resentment can literally make you sick.
What's most important is to recognize that clinging to resentment only hurts you-NOT the person who did the hurting. Here are my Four Steps to Avoid Bitterness...and to help you move on:
~ Abe Lincoln once said, "I don't like that man. I must get to know him better." You will never fully understand the reason that others act as they do. While perhaps nothing can excuse the actions of someone who caused you pain, understanding their actions better sometimes lessen the resentment you feel.
~ The person who did the hurting might not even know the pain and resentment you are feeling. Try to tell the person the offense he or she caused, and do so without acrimony. Also, remember, reconciliation doesn't happen over night-it takes time.
~ Don't be stubborn if the other person doesn't say "I am sorry" in the manner you want. Sometimes, the "I am sorry" is not explicity spoken and comes in a different form, such as an invitation to lunch or an unexpected phone call.
~ If you choose not to associate with the person any longer, after trying to open communication, move on and don't ruminate over the past, as the past is just that- THE PAST.
Remember, Bee Fitters, a healthy lifestyle is all about understanding that food, NOT just what's on a plate, determines how we feel and heal!